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Thoughts on Uncertainty


It was only three days ago that we (my family) became victims of a cybercrime. Victims of a fraud customer-care number that left us confused, and blind to what was being done to us. It left us lesser not only in money, but also in faith.
It was only three days ago that I was at once reminded that the people we live among are desperate, broken, and unjust. Looking back, there were so many glaring red flags during our call that day, and we naively ignored them. We’re an educated family and losing money because of a cybercrime is a reminder struck right across the face of what happens to those who unsuspectingly believe.

And I’m not just talking about this one time.

Every time you find yourself fooled; gutted by thoughts of your own ignorance, you start building walls around yourself. There is a sense of urgency. A glaring alarm telling you to get everything under control, and to never gamble like this again. As if the only way to get through life is by rigorously protecting yourself every step of the way. 

These metaphorical walls can even turn real sometimes. I once heard of an old couple that lived in a city with very high crime rates. And the way they sought to protect themselves, is by settling in a gated community with un-penetrable security, and never, ever stepping out. They sought help from workers who ran their errands for money, but they never stepped out themselves. They often dreamt of enjoying summer’s breeze at the beach, but their fear was stronger. They stayed behind those walls with a conviction that the only way they could live is by over-rationalizing every fear. Because what would happen otherwise?

During these times, we often confuse cynicism for pragmatism. Pragmatism taken to an extreme, where even the most irrational ways to live, seem as the only reasonable choice in a world this cruel. And I understand the urge. I understand the urge to become that old couple; locked into our cocoons; hoping to find some form of control over a life so uncertain.

But is that really ‘living’?

This question isn’t meant to be an invitation to you to cast all your doubts and fears away and let yourself be an easy victim to those who take pride in these conquers.
But it is an invitation to not let these people turn you into a cynic.

After we (our family) realized our mistake, we reached out to the bank and the police. We filed complaints of fraud, and watched our faith slowly being restored. Restored by the people helping, kindly listening, and telling tales of this happening before. And at the police station, we saw others who were similarly mistaken. We saw them with genuine empathy, since we too were there for the same reason.

Stepping outside of your home every day, talking to new people, giving help to strangers, asking for help ourselves, being vulnerable, saying no, falling in love; all of this requires you to place faith in uncertain places. We might not always perceive the uncertainty. Or on the other end, we might feel paralyzed by it. Both of which aren’t really the best way to live. To be afraid is natural, but letting it stop you from living – that is where I draw the line. I now sometimes find myself double checking each time I receive a call from an unknown number, or when I must make a call to a number I found online. I’m more careful now, and I’m glad I’m more careful. I’m not delusional about the certainty of life, but I do have greater faith in my ability to find hope even amongst this uncertainty.



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