How do I explain This drive To be seen To be able to say - ‘this is all my bad. handle it’ And to hear a response that says ‘gladly’ When I hear that I would not eat. Not cook. Not have a bath. Not get out of bed. Not watch anything. I would smoke. And smoke more. I would get mad, and be petty. I would get irritated by everything. I wouldn’t allow my own nurturer to step into every crevice she sees. She ruins me sometimes. If I could I would let the bad be bad And the worse get worse I would breathe and do nothing I would allow for destruction right in front of my eyes What I look for is someone that says “This is okay. You can fall apart.” What I seek for myself, Is me saying. “You are ok. You can fall apart.”