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Showing posts from October, 2024

One visit from Uma Devi and my insecurities creep in

Mother I do not know what to do with myself  Shall I shave my hands and legs, and all parts of my body? Shall I wax myself clean  inching closer to what femininity is supposed to look like?  Do I sculpt my body like Uma Devi herself?  Do I spend effort to look pristine and perfect like Uma Devi herself?  Can I ever be as perfect as her?  I don’t believe I can, mother.  I am sickly, and hairy.  and detestable to look at. I am made of hairfall, and dandruff  And hair growth everywhere  I am made of broad shoulders and back acne tan lines and double chin love handles and a pot belly I am made of the features of a man, a monkey.  Mother I am all this and more. Where am I anywhere close to you Uma Devi? You have bewitched me with your beauty  And held me at a distance from it yet the same  Impossible to reach, impossible to emulate  Mother, you who have made me  Why not show me more grace, mother? All this I shall acc...